Wednesday, June 07, 2006

It's the Little Things. . .

I went to see Becky yesterday, who is up here in Arlington with some of her middle school kids. She had told them I was coming, so when I walked into the hotel pool area, they all yelled, "HI LAUREN!!" I immediately thought, "This is the kind of stuff I'm going to miss." It'll be a long time before I hear kids yell my name in that we're-excited-you're-here kinda way. And even when I do again, it won't be quite the same as when the SOTH kids yelled it. I was loved just because I'm me. There aren't a lot of relationships here on earth that are that genuine.

It's the little things. Yesterday, I told my dad that "my kids" are going to camp next week. . .then I stopped and realized that they're going with Mark, not me. They're not "my kids" anymore. Youth ministers always refer to the kids at church as their kids. And I can't anymore. It might sound ridiculous to be sad about, but that realization made me pretty depressed for a bit.

It still feels like I'll be headed back to work next week. It doesn't feel like it's over. But it is. And I'm excited about what lies ahead. But I have a feeling that little things will pop up every now and then that will remind me why it was so hard to say goodbye.

And of course, leaving Becky last night was hard, too. I will miss laying around and chatting about all sorts of things. . .she's precious to me. It still doesn't feel like we won't have that time anymore. I will not see her until sometime this fall. That is too weird.

Sorry if my blog feels sad and depressing lately. But life is in transition right now and I'm reflecting on it.

I'm gonna go take a shower and spend some time reading by the pool! Time to get out of the house and relax. . .


Blogger Becky said...

Lauren, I'm super glad that you did stop by in Arlington to hang out. One last time to just sit around and be girls together. It is weird to think that we won't get to do that again until this fall...but luckily you have enough starbucks money so we'll have some place to go and hang out!!

I'll miss you like the desserts miss the rain!

9:02 AM  

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