Thursday, May 04, 2006

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

I called one of our church families last night to see if their kids could help with Youth Sunday, and I ended up talking with one of my kids for a bit. I haven't seen this girl in a while, and I've missed talking with her. It was only a 10-minute conversation, but when I got off the phone, I thought, "Wow. If I had spent the last two years calling my kids, just one youth per night, just to see how their week was going, etc. . ." Then my head spun into all these "coulda, woulda, shoulda" thoughts. Of course, since I'm leaving, I'm realizing all these things I coulda done. Even shoulda done. And I know I shouldn't beat myself up, because in actuality, calling each of the youth woulda worn me out. But it was nice to chat with one of them last night and hear how things are going with her.

I think the thing that surprised me was that she was excited to talk to me. I heard her brother say, "Lauren's on the phone" and she grabbed it and said, "Hey Lauren!!" It made me smile because I guess I thought they'd be annoyed that their youth minister was calling, thinking, "What is she going to ask me to do?" or something. I don't know. But to hear her saying she missed me and was sad I was leaving. . .that was cool.

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda was the title of a Sex & the City episode. I wonder how often I think I coulda, woulda, shoulda done something differently. . .

I don't necessarily regret things from my past. They happened. So be it. But I still like to process my past, just to avoid repetitive mistakes or whatever. If I had to come up with 5 Coulda, Woulda, Shouldas, they'd be (in no particular order):

1) I woulda kept dancing instead of giving it up for cheerleading and volleyball (stints that lasted one year each in junior high). Had I known that I wouldn't get near as much satisfaction out of those two sports as I had from dance, then who knows. . .
2) I shoulda heeded friends' and family's advice regarding certain relationships in my past. It woulda saved me from a lot of heartbreak and needless holding on. . .
3) I shoulda studied abroad while in college. I was an RA, and in order to protect my job, I really couldn't leave the country for a semester. However, I'm almost positive it coulda worked out had I tried hard enough. Of course, I can travel for the rest of my life, but there's something about traveling in college that's extra fun, I think. . .
4) I shouldn'ta made myself come up with 5 of these because I can't think of any more!

Which leads me back to a previous statement: I don't regret much at all about my life. For example, in reference to #2, I know I needed to experience heartbreak in order to grow. Maybe some people don't need that experience, but I did. Maybe I still do, who knows. The point is, even the things I listed aren't really huge regrets. I enjoyed cheerleading and volleyball. They each (especially cheerleading) taught me a lot about myself and about others. I needed that experience.

So, the whole Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda thing is really not that important, huh? But in the interest of discussion, any thoughts?


Anonymous lizzie said...

I often wonder about could, woulda, shoulda. And I find it very interesting to let my mind wander and wonder what "coulda" been if I'd done things differently. I think lots of people do. :)

I thought a lot about not going into band my sophomore year in high school and I know for sure my life would be totally different. Which is weird to think what your life might have been like and then my thought process goes all "It's a Wonderful Life" and ends with someone saying I'm the richest (wo)man in town!

Except not in that I think the world would be better off without me. Man, my mind is weird.

Anyways. I'm going to go to sleep before I sound stupider.

PS Did you get my voicemail?

PPS Have you heard of Kathleen Edwards because she's pretty nifty.

9:19 PM  
Blogger Lauren said...

Lizzie, I will call you today sometime.

And I'm glad you chose to stay in band, too! Think of what fun we woulda missed out on if you hadn't been there with us. . .!

9:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lauren -

How many references to Sex and the City can you make....just wondering...

1:41 PM  
Blogger trishy said...

We coulda been better friends my last year in college if I woulda dumped the loser I was dating and I shoulda dumped the loser cause I coulda done better and I shoulda known better but I woulda hadda meet Richie to know that. So I guess things shoulda gone the way they went so I could(a) become who I am now otherwise I woulda(not) be where I am with you as my friend and him as my man and life just peachy.

read: don't have regrets.

2:04 PM  
Blogger Lauren said...

Anonymous--I LOVE Sex & the City . Love it. And I will take your comment as a challenge to see how many references I can make in the future. :) ha ha

Trishy--Awesome. Just awesome.

4:33 PM  
Anonymous generic cialis said...

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9:09 PM  

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