Saturday, March 25, 2006

i carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear

no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

-ee cummings

I love this poem. Although sometimes love poems like this seem a bit. . .idolatrous? obsessive? I don't know. I just know that when I read them, I'm thinking, "Wow, that is so amazing," while at the same time also thinking, "Is this person you're writing about all you live for?"

I've learned that one person can't be all you live for. There is something greater. And if it's not God for you, then it's gotta be something else, I think. If you put everything you feel and believe and long for on the shoulders of someone else, onto a human who makes as many mistakes as you do each day, then there will be a point when it crashes down. It's inevitable.

Feelings cause us to do some crazy things, and I've learned that even those of us who profess to trust in God alone for our wholeness can easily get swept into relying on a person to satisfy what only God can. We are imperfect. We are childish. We are selfish. We are mortal. We can't be everything to someone. We can't be everything to anyone.

But we can be something. And when we are, it's a beautiful thing. And I do believe that human love, romantic love, is one of God's greatest gifts to us. Why wouldn't it be, when every single person on earth is in search of it? It's a treasure! So when we find it (or, better, when it finds us), we soak it up and breathe it in and allow it to rush over us because it's the best thing we've ever experienced. But it's only a taste. As overwhelming and comforting and magical as it is, it's still only a taste of a Love that's perfect.

To me, that Love comes from God alone. And it's harder to keep that in perspective because, hey--it's not like God's right here in front of me to talk to, hug, lean on. But from where does my peace come? Not always from the boyfriend, and most certainly not from myself. And this isn't our fault. I think we were created to need something more than human relationships. Everything about us proves this. I know many will disagree, but I look around and can plainly see that we are never satisfied solely by even the most wonderful things that human relationships bring.

And the best thing about it all is that God knows we won't always remember how much we are loved by God. God knows that we will turn to others, desperate for acceptance and love that only God can provide. And even when we forget about God, there is no way God ever forgets about us.

When I forget, help me remember. . .

Whatever is done by only me is Your doing, God.
You, God, are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing.
Your love is higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide,
You are the wonder that's keeping the stars apart.

What, am I a devotional author now? Goodness, I wasn't expecting to write all of that. I must be in a "preachy" mood since I'm preaching the sermon tonight (!) at church. Which reminds me, I better get back to that. . .

Love to all. And PEACE.


Blogger Becky said...

Lauren, you are wise beyond your years...I definitely think you are going into the right field of study.
What you wrote is so true. And until we all accept that God is our one true love and what we should focus our energy on, our lives will never be complete. But like you said, it's not that easy since He isn't staring us in the face saying "Pick Me", "Love Me", "Trust Me", "Hug Me"'s easier to find that person that is in front of you.

I'll help you remember, if you help me to remember too...

Love you lots.

10:04 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

I just threw my hands up and started dancing in the aisles.

Hallelujah, Sister! [And by 'Hallelujah, I mean 'Hot Damn!']

11:28 AM  
Blogger Rob West said...

This post wasn't here this morning... It say Saturday March 25. Is time shrinking?

12:16 PM  
Blogger Rob West said...

PS Can;'t wait to hear how your sermon goes!

12:17 PM  
Blogger Lauren said...

Hey, March 25th is my mom's birthday! (read Lesl's latest post and that comment will be more funny)

I put the poem in a post on Saturday, meaning to do something with it later. . .so the date didn't change. Weird.

Let's all dance in the aisles! A little Holy Spirit Shakin' couldn't hurt. . .

12:45 PM  
Blogger Rob West said...

Laurey, I like you very much.
You know that. But your booty is NOT the Holy Spirit.

(And believe me, if anyone was going to say differently, it'd be me.)

6:44 AM  
Blogger Lauren said...

Rob, I don't think you're ready for this jelly.

9:23 AM  
Blogger Chris said...


1:43 PM  
Blogger Rob West said...

Oooh! Good idea!


2:25 PM  
Blogger Me Over Here said...


That is all.

9:16 PM  
Blogger Emily said...

Hmmm...these comments started off so beautiful and Christ-like and quickly took a turn for the ghetto-botty shaking and "what not" that shall not be mentioned here...

Anyways, Laur I loved what you had to write. I've been pondering many of the same thoughts lately - That we'll never be completely satisfied by someone here on earth; that we'll always be left wanting something more...something incomprehensible. There is a space in us all that only God can fill.

10:56 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

One has to ask one's self: WWJD?

I'd say he'd shake that junk.

9:29 AM  

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