Monday, January 30, 2006

Advance

Goodness, it felt like spring here yesterday! And as much as I claim to love cold weather, I think I'm starting to realize that I might, just might, in a teeny tiny little way, miss Texas weather when I leave. I know that's ridiculous, Texans. I know we have some really unpredictable weather and that it's really annoying when we're practically sweating in January. But man, it was gorgeous yesterday. And I got to do one of the things that's high on my list of lazy day activities: lay on a blanket in the grass. In January. Weird, but wonderful.

I always get like this. When I know something's going to change in my life, I start thinking way in advance of how I will be affected by it. I almost get it all out of my system early on so that when the change actually happens, I find that I'm not as emotional about it, or at least, the emotion is diluted a bit. I don't mean to do this, but it almost always happens. When I knew college graduation was sneaking up on me, I had my sad moments kinda early--like in October. And once December came, I was ready. Then in the months immediately afterwards, I found myself getting emotional again. I'm sure that will happen this time around, too. I have moments when I think about how great this church is, how awesome Texas is, how much I'll miss my friends here, etc., and I get sad. But I bet come June, I'm going to be ready to go. And then in July, I'm going to have an "I really miss Texas/friends/life as it was three months ago" spell. That's just how I am. I'm prematurely emotional, I guess. And I think that bleeds into other areas of my life, as well. I get excited/mad/sad before the exciting/maddening/sad event(s) even occurs. I anticipate and my emotions immediately follow. I'll probably cry more in February/March about leaving than I will when it comes time to say goodbye to everyone. Is this weird? Maybe. But it's just the way I deal with things, I guess.

And what happens when I can't anticipate emotional events? It takes me a while to get over it. But I don't think I'm abnormal in that sense. Death, break-ups, things that come out of the blue. . .I hold onto painful events longer than I need to, I think. But overall, my emotional reeling time is pretty average. Emotional reeling time?! Awesome. I just made up a new term.

I announced to the congregation yesterday that I will be heading to seminary in a few months. And the sweetest thing happened--all these "older" people came up to me afterwards, saying, "We are going to miss you so much!" These people have grown kids, grandchildren, etc. They really don't have much investment in the youth ministry, and yet they do! I haven't had but one or two small-talk conversations with these certain people in the time I've been here (honestly, this is embarrassing, but I couldn't think of one lady's name while she was talking to me!) But how cool that they notice more than I think they do.

Lots to do today and so little time. . .have a good one!




If I just breathe
And fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright.
~MB

10 Comments:

Blogger Lauren said...

I know, Trish, what's up with me being your only commenter? commentator? comment-leaver? commentarior?

What's up.

10:08 AM  
Blogger trishy said...

Texas will miss you, too! Maybe we'll be closer than we think...

Does my blog smell?

10:08 AM  
Blogger Lauren said...

um, okay, apparently we left comments at the exact same time, but I saw yours before I wrote mine. And mine is above yours. And that is weird.

10:09 AM  
Blogger trishy said...

I'm a little sad about it, but hey, it's only a blog.

and yes, that was very weird!

11:04 AM  
Blogger Becky said...

Lauren, I will miss you like the deserts miss the rain.

I think it's good that your "emotional reeling" time comes before the event actually happens. Then it is easier for you to deal with the situation when it comes. You'll be stronger for it.
You've been such a rock for me while I've been in the Austin area, I don't know what I'm going to do once you're actually gone.

I haven't actually sat down and thought about the fact that we won't get to get coffee once a week or dinner or whatever we do. That sucks. I'll cry for sure once it actually sinks in.
I love ya lots.

11:48 AM  
Blogger Lauren said...

Becky--Well, true to my nature and to the subject of this blog entry, I am practically crying now after what you wrote. :( Thinking about not hanging out with NEAR as often as we do now is very sad.

12:01 PM  
Blogger Me Over Here said...

Twinny! Sorry I had to ditch out this past weekend, but sometime soon I will scrounge up the money to hang out with y'all.

I hear you on the whole "emotional" thing, except things don't REALLY hit me until after they happen, so then I'm super down. I think you way is more functional!

Happy for you, as always!

12:31 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:42 PM  
Blogger Rob West said...

Someone once said to me, "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".

And peppy and inspiring as that tries to sound, I don't think it is even close to true.

6:40 AM  
Blogger trishy said...

yeah who was the idiot who said that?

oh crap, I hope it wasn't me.

Lauren, I think we're very alike on this. We cry and cry at the thought of it, before we really even know what "it" is and then when "it" happens, it's like...ok...I'm ready to do this!

7:14 AM  

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