Saturday, April 16, 2005

Dreams?

I love traveling! Even if it's just to Houston, I absolutely love it. I love driving with friends and chatting about anything and everything, visiting friends whom I miss so very much, shopping, eating out, shopping, and eating out! :)

I think I had a mini-awakening while I was in Houston this weekend. Watching and hearing about other couples made me think a lot. A relationship's just not for me right now. I kinda enjoy being on the "sidelines" and observing others. . .I learn a lot and reflect a lot on what I know, what I've learned, who I was, and who I am becoming. Shopping for bridesmaid dresses and helping my girlfriends pick out decorations and other miscellaneous wedding things is always going to be kinda rough, I think, while I'm single. And I don't think I'm weird for feeling that way--there's just something about being a girl that makes that longing for marriage very real. . .especially when your friends are planning for a step in life that you're just not ready for. At one time, I thought I was ready. Now I know I'm not. And you know, I think it'll be fun to take my time because I know my friends will give me the same attention, the same excitement that I'm giving them. It's just what girls do for each other. Engagements and weddings are an interesting phenomenon to me. . .girls rally together and plan parties and buy outrageous gifts--and you don't care how much money you spend because ". . .it's (insert name of girlfriend here)'s wedding! She's getting married!" Although, Becca's is only the second wedding I will actually be in, so my spending limit might shrink after the tenth wedding. ;) But it's annoying to me that even through the excitement, there's a tiny tiny tiny bit of sadness. . .or maybe it's just a whisper of the question, "When will this be me?" I find myself wondering if a man will ever love me the way my friends are loved by their significant others--so completely, boldly, and confidently. (Note: provided, of course, that I love him the same way.) I think society has trained girls to be wrapped up in weddings, though, and to base our worth on whether or not a man proposes to us. . .and I wish I could break that mold! I think I'm going to try. :)

Plus, I'm gorgeous and I'm a really fun person! ;) Single girls, remember how awesome and desirable we are and don't doubt this truth for one second! (Easier said than done. . .)

I put a couple of pictures on here from Houston. It was so wonderful to see my friends. . .at times like this, I really wish we all lived in the same city. Because even though we're only 3 hours away from each other, it's rare that we get together. Maybe it would be the same way, though, if we were closer. . .I guess that's life after college, but I think that's unfair. :(

Have a good one, kids. Time to unpack, lounge, and go to bed early. This will be a BIG week. . .




All my life
Is changing everyday
In every possible way
And all my dreams
It's never quite as it seems
Never quite as it seems
~The Cranberries


The best kind of love is the no-matter-what kind.
~Inventing the Abbotts

1 Comments:

Blogger Becky said...

I hear you loud and clear on this one Lauren. But our time will come before we know it and we'll think..."how silly of us to ever question if we'll ever get married."

8:54 AM  

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