Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Black Balloon

I just had dinner with John, Marcy, and Jane. . .fun times, dude. I needed that. This week has been stressful. At one point today, my computer was being so obstinate and was totally screwing up the bulletin I was working on. . .I was seriously about to throw my chair against the wall and shove all of my papers off of my desk. I shut my door and just cried for a few minutes, asking God for help. After that, I sat down at the computer, and of course everything worked fine. Hmmm. . .I think God was helping out on that one. . .and I think I just needed to let out some steam.

I went to the doctor today and had an EKG. My heart has been acting kinda funky lately, so I wanted to get it checked out. Doctors' offices are kinda scary to me. I don't go that often (thankfully), so while I was sitting all by myself waiting for the EKG results, my mind started to wander. I began to think about people who get really sad news at the doctor's office. . .how doctors break the news to patients who have terminal illnesses. . .how one minute, everything in someone's life can be totally normal and the next, one's whole world can be turned upside down with the news that everything is not normal--that something in the body isn't working properly and may never work properly again. I wondered how I would feel if the doctor came in and said she had some concerns and wanted more tests run, or if she said I needed surgery, or if she said that it looked like something serious. Our bodies can be really fragile. It amazes me that my heart has been pumping for 23 years straight. I'm thankful to God for my health, but I don't want to take it for granted.

By the way, the EKG came back normal. I breathe a sigh of relief. . .and a prayer of thanks. Those of you who know me know that I can get pretty paranoid about stuff, so I'm glad I have some answers now.

So I'm starting a new trend--I'm going into work earlier so I can leave earlier in the afternoon. My logic is this: I registered for my first grad school course (Developmental Issues in Counseling Children, Adolescents, and Adults--so excited about this one!) that will start in the fall. The church office is generally quieter in the morning hours, so I can get more work done with less distractions (although distractions are ministry, and many times, these distractions prove to be the more important part of the job. . .). Then, in the afternoons, I can work on papers, studying, etc. for school. I'm usually up at church most evenings, anyway, so I think I can work it all in. We'll see. . .it's funny how quickly I've gotten out of the whole 'waking up early' schedule. But my aim is to try it and hopefully I'll be in the habit by the time fall rolls around.

Dad's coming Thursday night for dinner to celebrate Barrett's birthday! Yay! I still can't believe my brother is 21 now. Wow.

Good evening, friends.

Comin' down the years turn over
And angels fall without you there
And I'll go on and I'll lead you home and
All because
I'll become
What you became to me
~Goo Goo Dolls


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